{"id":6970,"date":"2011-09-25T04:10:15","date_gmt":"2011-09-25T04:10:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/parentingtoday.com\/anew\/?page_id=6970"},"modified":"2019-07-23T16:43:59","modified_gmt":"2019-07-23T23:43:59","slug":"tantrums-fussing-and-whining","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/childdevelopmentinfo.com\/how-to-be-a-parent\/angry_child\/tantrums-fussing-and-whining\/","title":{"rendered":"Handling Tantrums, Fussing and Whining: Parent Guide"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Handling <\/picture><\/p>\n

by Elizabeth Pantley<\/strong>
\nAuthor of The No-Cry Discipline Solution<\/strong><\/p>\n

If you ask parents to list the most frustrating discipline problems during early childhood, you would find that these three items appear on every list. All children master their own version of these behaviors \u2013 every parent has to deal with them!<\/p>\n

Controlling their emotions<\/strong> Most often these behaviors are caused by a child\u2019s inability to express or control his emotions. Tiredness, hunger, boredom, frustration and other causes that ignite The Big Three can frequently be avoided or modified. When your child begins a meltdown, try to determine if you can tell what underlying issue is causing the problem. Solve that problem and you\u2019ll likely have your sweet child back again.<\/p>\n

Handling tantrums, fussing and whining<\/strong> No matter how diligent you are in recognizing trigger causes, your child will still have meltdown moments. Or even meltdown days. The following tips can help you handle those inevitable bumps in the road. Be flexible and practice those solutions that seem to bring the best results.<\/p>\n

Offer choices <\/strong>You may be able to avoid problems by giving your child more of a say in his life. You can do this by offering choices. Instead of saying, \u201cGet ready for bed right now,\u201d which may provoke a tantrum, offer a choice, \u201cWhat would you like to do first, put on your pajamas or brush your teeth?\u201d Children who are busy deciding things are often happy.<\/p>\n

Get eye-to-eye<\/strong> When you make a request from a distance your child will likely ignore you. Noncompliance creates stress, which leads to fussing and tantrums \u2013 from both of you. Instead, get down to your child\u2019s level, look him in the eye and make clear, concise requests. This will catch his full attention.<\/p>\n

Tell him what you DO wan<\/strong>t Instead of focusing on misbehavior and what you don\u2019t want him to do, explain exactly what you\u2019d like your child to do or say instead. Give him simple instructions to follow.<\/p>\n

Validate his feelings <\/strong>Help your child identify and understand her emotions. Give words to her feelings, \u201cYou\u2019re sad. You want to stay here and play. I know.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you must give in to her request, but letting her know that you understand her problem may be enough to help her calm down.<\/p>\n

Teach the Quiet Bunny<\/strong> When children get worked up, their physiological symptoms keep them in an agitated state. You can teach your child how to relax and then use this approach when fussing begins.<\/p>\n

You can start each morning or end each day with a brief relaxation session. Have your child sit or lie comfortably with eyes closed. Tell a story that he\u2019s a quiet bunny. Name body parts (feet, legs, tummy, etc.) and have your child wiggle it, and then relax it.<\/p>\n

Once your child is familiar with this process you can call upon it at times when he is agitated. Crouch down to your child\u2019s level, put your hands on his shoulders, look him in the eye and say, let\u2019s do our Quiet Bunny. And then talk him through the process. Over time, just mentioning it and asking him to close his eyes will bring relaxation.<\/p>\n

Distract and involve<\/strong> Children can easily be distracted when a new activity is suggested. If your child is whining or fussing try viewing it as an \u201cactivity\u201d that your child is engaged in. Since children aren\u2019t very good multi-taskers you might be able to end the unpleasant activity with the recommendation of something different to do.<\/p>\n

Invoke his imagination<\/strong> If a child is upset about something, it can help to vocalize his fantasy of what he wishes would happen: \u201cI bet you wish we could buy every single toy in this store.\u201d This can become a fun game.<\/p>\n

Use the preventive approach <\/strong>Review desired behavior prior to leaving the house, or when entering a public building, or before you begin a playdate. This might prevent the whining or tantrum from even beginning. Put your comments in the positive (tell what you want, not what you don\u2019t want) and be specific.<\/p>\n

When it\u2019s over, it\u2019s over<\/strong> After an episode of misbehavior is finished you can let it go and move on. Don\u2019t feel you must teach a lesson by withholding your approval, love or company. Children bounce right back, and it is okay for you to bounce right back, too.<\/p>\n

Excerpted with permission by McGraw-Hill Publishing from The No-Cry Discipline Solution (McGraw-Hill 2007) by Elizabeth Pantley<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you ask parents to list the most frustrating discipline problems during early childhood, you would find that these three items appear on every list. All children master their own version of these behaviors \u2013 every parent has to deal with them!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":6973,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-6970","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"yoast_head":"\nHandling Tantrums, Fussing and Whining: Parent Guide<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Tantrums, fussing and whining all make the list of most frustrating behaviors for parents. 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