{"id":6983,"date":"2011-09-25T04:09:58","date_gmt":"2011-09-25T04:09:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/parentingtoday.com\/anew\/?page_id=6983"},"modified":"2019-07-23T16:43:59","modified_gmt":"2019-07-23T23:43:59","slug":"communication","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/childdevelopmentinfo.com\/how-to-be-a-parent\/communication\/","title":{"rendered":"Guidelines for Parent-Child Communication"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><picture><source srcset=\"https:\/\/childdevelopmentinfo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/Guidelines-for-Parent-Child-Communication.webp 1200w, https:\/\/childdevelopmentinfo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/Guidelines-for-Parent-Child-Communication-600x314.jpg 600w,https:\/\/childdevelopmentinfo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/Guidelines-for-Parent-Child-Communication-100x52.webp 100w,https:\/\/childdevelopmentinfo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/Guidelines-for-Parent-Child-Communication-400x209.webp 400w,https:\/\/childdevelopmentinfo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/Guidelines-for-Parent-Child-Communication-768x402.webp 768w,https:\/\/childdevelopmentinfo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/Guidelines-for-Parent-Child-Communication-720x377.webp 720w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" type=\"image\/webp\"><img src=\"https:\/\/childdevelopmentinfo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/Guidelines-for-Parent-Child-Communication.jpg\" height=\"628\" width=\"1200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/childdevelopmentinfo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/Guidelines-for-Parent-Child-Communication.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/childdevelopmentinfo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/Guidelines-for-Parent-Child-Communication-600x314.jpg 600w, https:\/\/childdevelopmentinfo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/Guidelines-for-Parent-Child-Communication-100x52.jpg 100w, https:\/\/childdevelopmentinfo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/Guidelines-for-Parent-Child-Communication-400x209.jpg 400w, https:\/\/childdevelopmentinfo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/Guidelines-for-Parent-Child-Communication-768x402.jpg 768w, https:\/\/childdevelopmentinfo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/Guidelines-for-Parent-Child-Communication-720x377.jpg 720w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38512 sp-no-webp\" alt=\"Guidelines for Parent-Child Communication\" fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\"  > <\/picture><\/p>\n<p>Good communication is an important parenting skill.\u00a0Parenting can be more enjoyable when positive parent &#8211; child relationship is established.\u00a0Whether you are parenting a toddler or a teenager, good communication is the key to building self-esteem as well a mutual respect.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Basic Principles of Good Parent\/Child Communication<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Let the child know that you are interested and involved and that you will help when needed.<\/li>\n<li>Turn off the television or put the newspaper down when your child wants to converse.<\/li>\n<li>Avoid taking a telephone call when the child has something important to tell you.<\/li>\n<li>Unless other people are specifically meant to be included, hold conversations in privacy. The best communication between you and the child will occur when others are not around.<\/li>\n<li>Embarrassing the child or putting him on the spot in front of others will lead only to resentment and hostility, not good communication.<\/li>\n<li>Don\u2019t tower over your child. Physically get down to the child\u2019s level then talk.<\/li>\n<li>If you are very angry about a behavior or an incident, don\u2019t attempt communication until you regain your cool, because you cannot be objective until then. It is better to stop, settle down, and talk to the child later.<\/li>\n<li>If you are very tired, you will have to make an extra effort to be an active listener. Genuine active listening is hard work and is very difficult when your mind and body are already tired.<\/li>\n<li>Listen carefully and politely. Don\u2019t interrupt the child when he is trying to tell his story. Be as courteous to your child as you would be to your best friend.<\/li>\n<li>Don\u2019t be a wipe-out artist, unraveling minor threads of a story and never allowing the child\u2019s own theme to develop. This is the parent who reacts to the incidentals of a message while the main idea is list: i.e., the child starts to tell about what happened and the parent says, &#8220;I don\u2019t care what they are doing, but you had better not be involved in anything like that.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Don\u2019t ask why, but do ask what happened.<\/li>\n<li>If you have knowledge of the situation, confront the child with the information that you know or have been told.<\/li>\n<li>Keep adult talking (&#8220;You\u2019ll talk when I\u2019m finished.&#8221; &#8220;I know what\u2019s best for you.&#8221; &#8220;Just do what I say and that will solve the problem&#8221;), preaching and moralizing to a minimum because they are not helpful in getting communication open and keeping it open.<\/li>\n<li>Don\u2019t use put-down words or statements: dumb, stupid, lazy: &#8220;Stupid, that makes no sense at all&#8221; or &#8220;What do you know, you\u2019re just a child.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Assist the child in planning some specific steps to the solution.<\/li>\n<li>Show that you accept the child himself, regardless of what he has or has not done.<\/li>\n<li>Reinforce the child for keeping communication open. Do this by accepting him and praising his efforts to communicate.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h4>Words of Encouragement and Praise<\/h4>\n<p>Children thrive on positive attention. Children need to feel loved and appreciated. Most parents find that it is easier to provide negative feedback rather than positive feedback. By selecting and using some of the phrases below on a daily basis with your child, you will find that he will start paying more attention to you and will try harder to please.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">Yes\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Good\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Fine\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Very good\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Very fine\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Excellent Marvelous \u00a0\u00a0At-a-boy Right<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">That\u2019s right\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Correct\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Wonderful \u00a0 \u00a0I like the way you do that\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019m pleased with (proud of ) you<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">That\u2019s good\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Wow\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Oh boy\u00a0\u00a0 Very nice\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Good work\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Great going \u00a0 \u00a0Good for you\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 That\u2019s the way<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">Much better \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0O.K. \u00a0 \u00a0You\u2019re doing better\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 That\u2019s perfect Good idea\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 What a cleaver idea<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">That\u2019s it\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Good job\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Great job controlling yourself \u00a0 \u00a0I like the way you ______<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">I noticed that you ____ \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Keep it up \u00a0 \u00a0I had fun ______ with you<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">You are improving at ______ more and more \u00a0 \u00a0You showed a lot of responsibility when you ______<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">Way to go \u00a0 \u00a0I appreciate the way you ______\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 You are great at that\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 You&#8217;re the best<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">Good remembering\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 That\u2019s beautiful\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I like your______<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">I like the way you ______ with out having to be asked (reminded)<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">I\u2019m sure glad you are my son\/daughter\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Now you\u2019ve got it \u00a0 \u00a0I love you<\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">You can SHOW them how you feel as well as tell them<\/span>:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">Smile\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Nod\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Part on shoulder, head, knee Wink<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">Signal or gesture to signify approval\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 High five\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Touch cheek<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">Tickle\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Laugh (with, not at)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Pat on the back\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Hug<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<h4>One Final Touch<\/h4>\n<p><em>If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.<br \/>\nIf a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.<br \/>\nIf a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.<br \/>\nIf a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive.<br \/>\nIf a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.<br \/>\nIf a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.<br \/>\nIf a child lives with encouragement he learns to be confident.<br \/>\nIf a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love.<br \/>\nIf a child lives with recognition, he learns it is good to have a goal.<br \/>\nIf a child lives with honesty he learns what truth is.<br \/>\nIf a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.<br \/>\nIf a child lives with security, he learns to have faith in himself and those about him.<br \/>\nIf a child lives with friendliness, he learns the world is a nice place in which to live to love and be loved.<br \/>\n<\/em><br \/>\n(Anonymous)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Article by Child Development Institue for parents on positive communication, praise, encouragement, developing self-esteem, managing arguing and developing positive parent-child relationships.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":38512,"parent":7618,"menu_order":12,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center 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